Turning Their Belongings into a Tribute
Deciding What To Do With Their Possessions
Here’s something no one warns you about: after someone you love passes away, you don’t just grieve them.
You grieve their shoes still by the door.
Their half-read book on the nightstand.
Their favorite coffee mug is sitting in the sink.
Suddenly, their belongings are everywhere, and deciding what to do with them feels like an impossible emotional landmine. One minute you’re fine. Next, you’re hugging an old jacket and ugly-crying like you’re starring in a Netflix drama.
If you’re here wondering How do I even start? First, take a breath. You’re not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong.
This isn’t about "getting over" anything. It’s about figuring out how to carry their memory forward, piece by piece, in a way that feels right for you.
Let’s talk about how.
Give Yourself Permission to Take Your Time
There’s no expiration date on grieving, or on sorting through someone’s belongings.
You don’t have to clean out the house on a weekend. You don’t have to "let go" by a certain day on the calendar.
Grief moves at the speed of your heart, not your to-do list.
So if you need to leave the closet untouched for six months? Totally fine.
If you need to pack up a few small things today and nothing else? Also fine.
There is no trophy for "fastest cleanup." (If there were, honestly, no one would want it.)
Start Small (Really Small)
Looking at everything at once is overwhelming.
Start with one drawer. One shelf. One item.
Ask yourself:
Does this item bring comfort or just pain right now?
Does it hold a memory I want to carry forward?
Could it become part of a tribute, or is it okay to let it go?
You’re not dishonoring someone’s memory by not keeping everything. They loved you, not their sock collection. (Promise.)
Separate Items into Categories
Once you’re ready, it helps to sort belongings into rough groups:
Keep for comfort – items you treasure now
Pass down – items future generations might cherish
Donate with love – items that could help someone else
Let go with gratitude – items you don't need to keep
No shame in any pile. No wrong choices. Only what feels right for your heart.
Turn Special Items Into Tributes
Some belongings deserve more than just a box in the attic. Here are beautiful ways to transform them into living memories:
Memory Quilt: Have their favorite shirts or scarves made into a cozy quilt you can actually use.
Jewelry Redesign: Turn a piece of their jewelry into something you wear daily—a pendant, a ring, a charm.
Shadow Box: Frame small keepsakes (tickets, photos, notes) in a shadow box you can hang or display.
Furniture Refresh: Refinish an old table, chair, or dresser and make it a part of your home—with all the history intact.
Recipe Book: Gather their handwritten recipes into a family cookbook. (Extra points for the ones with stains and margin notes.)
Remember: The goal isn’t to freeze things in time. It’s to create a bridge between then and now—something that feels alive and warm.
Create a "Legacy Space" (Big or Tiny)
Not everything has to be turned into art. Sometimes, it’s enough to create a small space where their memory can live.
Ideas for a legacy space:
A shelf with a framed photo, a few favorite items, and a candle
A drawer with letters, cards, or keepsakes you can pull out when needed
A garden corner with their favorite flowers or plants
A digital photo frame that cycles through favorite memories
It doesn't have to be a shrine. It’s about having a place where their spirit still feels near.
Let Yourself Feel All the Feelings
Sorting through belongings is emotional whiplash.
One minute you’re laughing at a goofy T-shirt they refused to throw out. The next, you’re sobbing over their handwriting on an old grocery list.
This is normal.
This is grief doing what it does, twisting, surprising, overwhelming, and tender.
Let the emotions come. Take breaks. Eat snacks. Hug people. Talk to someone who gets it.
You don’t have to be "strong." You just have to be honest.
Honor Their Spirit, Not Their Stuff
At the end of the day, remember this:
Their spirit isn’t trapped in a sweater or a coffee mug.
Their spirit is:
In the way you laugh
In the stories you tell
In the lessons they taught you
In the way you love people better because you knew them
Stuff is just stuff. Love is what stays.
It’s Okay to Keep, Change, or Let Go
There’s no one right way to handle the things they left behind.
You can treasure some things forever.
You can transform others into new memories.
You can gently let go of what no longer fits the life you’re living now.
Whatever path you choose, you are still honoring them. You are still carrying them forward. You are still loving them.