Goodbyes Aren't Just for Later
Say It Now, Love Them Always
Yes, even if it feels weird. Especially if it feels weird.
No one wants to talk about death, let alone plan for it.
We’re a culture of “circle back later,” “not right now,” and “can we not?” when it comes to the Big Goodbye. We ghost grief. We schedule sadness for never. We think love means never having to say goodbye.
But what if... the opposite is true?
What if saying goodbye early is actually one of the most loving, generous, emotionally badass things you can do?
Enter: the pre-written goodbye letter.
Wait, You Want Me to What?
Yep. Write the goodbye now. Not later. Not on your deathbed. Now, while you’re here, clear-headed, and (mostly) emotionally hydrated.
It might feel weird. Premature. Awkward as hell.
But it’s also powerful. Healing. And a surprisingly kind gift for everyone involved, including you.
Saying Goodbye Before You "Have To" Isn’t Morbid, It’s Liberating
Pre-writing a goodbye note isn’t a doomsday move. It’s not you giving up or calling in fate like a weird grief magnet.
It’s just... loving on purpose. While you still can.
Think of it like this: we write wills to organize our stuff after we’re gone. Why not write a message that organizes our hearts?
There’s something deeply comforting about knowing you’ve said what matters, even if you don’t get the perfect timing.
No pressure. No blinking hospital lights. No panicking “Did I forget to say I love you?”
Just words. Honest, intentional, lovingly imperfect words.
It’s Not Just for the “Big Goodbyes” 💔
Yes, this kind of letter can be part of end-of-life planning. But also? It doesn’t have to be about death.
It can be:
A just-in-case letter for your kids
A goodbye to an old version of yourself (hi, therapy)
A note to a friend you’ve drifted from
A letter to your partner, full of everything you forget to say when life gets loud
A message to your future self when grief is too heavy to hold alone
Goodbyes don’t have to be final. They can also be clarifying, healing, or freeing.
Sometimes we say goodbye because we’re dying.
Other times, we say goodbye so we can start living better.
Why This Actually Helps You First
Writing a goodbye letter forces you to slow down. To reflect. To ask yourself: What do I want to be remembered for? What needs to be said, even if it’s hard?
And when you put those things on paper, something incredible happens:
🧠 Your mental clutter clears
💬 Your unsaid words get airtime
💖 Your regrets shrink (and your love expands)
Think of it like emotional decluttering, but instead of tossing your ex’s hoodie, you’re releasing all the words you’ve bottled up “for the right time.”
Spoiler: the right time is now.
For the Reader? It’s a Lifeline.
If you’ve ever lost someone suddenly, you know the ache of the unanswered.
“What would they have said to me?”
“Did they know how much I loved them?”
“Did I say it back?”
A pre-written letter is a pause in the chaos. A thread connecting you across time.
It becomes a safe place to land for someone who’s grieving, a place where they can hear your voice, feel your humor, your weird grammar quirks, your stories.
You don’t have to be profound. You just have to be real.
How to Write a Goodbye Message (Without Spiraling)
Take a deep breath. This doesn’t need to be “final.” It’s just honest. Start small. Pick one person. Give yourself 15 minutes. Try this:
👉 Step 1: Start with a line that feels like you.
“Hey, future-you.”
“This is the weirdest letter I’ve ever written.”
“I wanted to say this now, just in case I never get the chance.”
👉 Step 2: Say what matters.
What you admire about them
How they changed your life
What memory always makes you laugh (or cry)
What you hope they remember about you
👉 Step 3: Add a signature only you would use.
A sign-off like “Love you forever, even if I still think ketchup belongs in the fridge,” adds humanness and humor. It’s comforting, because it’s so you.
Can This Be Digital? Absolutely.
Email it to yourself
Store it in a shared Google Drive
Schedule it with a service like FutureMe or BePrepared
Print it, seal it, and put it in your Important Stuff folder
Write it in a card and stick it in someone’s favorite book
Whatever method makes it easier for you to actually do it, go with that.
This isn’t about fancy formatting. It’s about feeling.
Still Feel Weird? That’s a Good Sign.
Because this stuff matters. It should feel a little tender. A little vulnerable. Maybe even a little bit like peeling your emotional skin off in front of a mirror.
But here's the thing: love that lives out loud, messy, early, honest love, is the kind that sticks.
This letter isn’t about predicting the future. It’s about honoring the present. It’s about making sure love doesn’t go unsaid.
Writing a Goodbye Message Early It’s a Great Idea:
✔️ It gives you peace of mind
✔️ It gives others a piece of your heart
✔️ It turns fear into meaning
✔️ It’s loving, not morbid
✔️ It helps you say the thing while you still can
You don’t need to be dying.
You don’t need a perfect draft.
You just need a little courage, a little paper, and a lot of honesty.
So go ahead. Say it now.
Your future self, and your people, will thank you for it. 💌
