Keeping Their Memory Alive

Aug 2

So... someone you love is gone. And now you’re here, maybe Googling something like “how to keep their memory alive without it being weird or expensive or exhausting.”

I’m sorry. Whether the loss is fresh and raw or settled into the soft ache of “always missing them,” your desire to honor them matters a lot.

The good news? You don’t need a memorial tattoo, a $2,000 park bench, or a photo shrine big enough to stop traffic.

You just need a few meaningful rituals, simple acts of remembering that whisper, “I still love you. I still carry you.”

And because grief already takes so much energy, let’s make these doable. Gentle. Real.

Light a Candle on Special Days 🕯️

Birthdays, anniversaries, their favorite holiday—even the random Tuesday you miss them most. Light a candle. Let it burn. Say their name out loud (or just in your head if that feels better). That little flicker? It’s a warm “hi” across the veil.

Cook Their Signature Dish, or Order It In 🍲

Maybe your dad made killer lasagna. Maybe your best friend was a sushi obsessive. Either way, food is a powerful memory portal. Cook their favorite meal. Or heck, just DoorDash it and eat in their honor. Bonus: share the meal with someone else and tell them the story behind it.

Create a “Love Shelf” 📚

No, not a shrine. (Unless you want one. You do you.) This is just a small shelf or corner with a photo, an object that reminds you of them, and maybe a little plant or candle. A cozy visual hug when you walk by.

Wear Something That Was Theirs 👕

Their sweatshirt. A scarf. A ring. A goofy keychain. Clothing has memories. Energy. Slipping something of theirs on your body can feel like a comforting hug from the past.

Write to Them ✍️

Get a notebook. Label it something like “Letters to Grandma” or “Dear Jamie.” When you’re feeling a wave, write it out. A memory. A rant. A joke. A “you would’ve loved this” story. The writing doesn’t have to be profound. It just has to be yours.

Plant Something That Grows 🌱

You don’t need a whole garden, just a windowsill pot will do. A succulent. A peace lily. A tomato plant. Something that reminds you life keeps blooming, even when you’re grieving.

Want to go extra-deep? Choose a plant they love. Or name the plant after them. (Yes, naming your cactus “Uncle Bob” is totally valid.)

Use Their Quirks on Purpose 😂

Did they have weird sayings like “cool beans” or “don’t let the bedbugs bite”? Adopt them. Drop them into conversation. Their voice, living on in yours? That’s legacy.

Make a Playlist of Songs That Feel Like Them 🎶

Songs they loved. Songs that remind you of them. Songs you think they would’ve hated and now make you laugh. Music = memory fuel. Play it on long drives or while you’re making dinner and let the nostalgia hit in waves.

Do Something They Would’ve Done, Just Because

Volunteer for a cause they cared about. Donate to their favorite charity on their birthday. Watch their favorite movie. Take a dance class, even if you’ve got two left feet, just because they always said you should.

These don’t have to be big gestures. They just have to be full of you remembering them.

Tell the Story (Even if You Cry in the Middle) 🗣️

Tell their story. Often. To new friends, to kids, to strangers in line at the grocery store if the moment hits. Grief lives on, yes, but so does love. Let the storytelling keep them real. (And if you cry halfway through, that’s not awkward. That’s honest.)

Celebrate the Ordinary

Light a candle. Pour their favorite drink. Say their name out loud. Raise a glass to the messy, beautiful, ordinary moments you got to share.

Because that’s the real stuff. Not the perfect photo or the epic eulogy. It’s the inside jokes, the weird nicknames, the way they always sang off-key in the car.

When Remembering Feels Too Hard 😞

Quick reality check: there are days when honoring your loved one might feel like too much. When the grief is heavy and the memories hurt more than help.

That’s okay. That’s real.

This isn’t a to-do list. There are no gold stars for perfect grieving. These rituals are invitations, not expectations. Show up when you can. Rest when you can’t.

Keep It Real. Keep It Yours. ❤️

There’s no right way to grieve. No gold-standard guidebook. No set number of candles, playlists, or letters that proves you loved them “enough.”

Grief is love with nowhere to go. And remembrance is love, choosing to stay.

So however you keep their memory alive, through laughter, tears, stories, plants, playlists, or pancakes, know this:

It matters. They mattered.

And you’re doing just fine.

Start small. Pick one ritual and try it once. See how it feels.

Repeat what works.