What Your Will Really Says About You

Yes, it can be about your collection of slightly cursed garden gnomes. Or the 1997 Honda Civic you swear is a “classic.” But if you’re only listing assets in your will, you’re missing a golden opportunity, a chance to pass down the real treasures: your values, your humor, your hard-won wisdom, your borderline-legendary lasagna recipe.

This is about legacy, not just logistics.

So whether you’re knee-deep in estate planning or procrastinating because “I’ll probably live forever,” make your will say what you really mean, beyond “To my cousin Mark, I leave the toaster.”

Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Envelope: What a Will Actually Communicates

When you create a will, you’re telling the people you love how you want things to be handled when you're not around. That’s a huge deal. But what your will really says is:

“Here’s how I want to be remembered.”

Are you the kind of person who values fairness? Creativity? Laughter in the face of doom? Your will can, and should, reflect that. Otherwise, it’s just an Excel spreadsheet in legalese.

And while we’re all for being practical (we love a good bulleted list), you also have the chance to be personal.

Why We Leave Wills That Sound Like Tax Forms

Most traditional wills are about as inspiring as a sandwich bag full of lint. That’s not your fault, it’s how the system is set up. Lawyers want clarity (and you do want legal clarity). But in the process, humanity often gets left at the door like muddy boots.

Here’s the fix: Think of your will as a blend. Like a heartfelt letter wrapped in a spreadsheet burrito.

You need the structure. But you also need a soul.

The Intangible Legacy: More Than Just Dollar Signs

Quick reality check: Your loved ones might forget how much you left them. But they’ll never forget how you made them feel.

Including personal touches in your will, like letters to your kids, stories about why you’re passing certain heirlooms down, or requests to continue family traditions, can keep your memory alive in ways your IRA just… won’t.

Here are some intangible gifts your will can reflect:

• Your values: Maybe you want to encourage generosity, kindness, or a commitment to lifelong learning.

• Your humor: Yes, you can leave instructions to play "Highway to Hell" at your funeral. It's your will.

• Your history: Sharing family stories or lessons learned the hard way = priceless.

• Your wishes for their future: Not “control from the grave” vibes, but gentle encouragement.

5 Ways to Make Sure Your Will Reflects Your Heart

Let’s get into the good stuff: how to make sure your will actually says, “Hey, I loved you wildly,” not “Please enjoy this antique cheese slicer.”

1. Write a Legacy Letter (a.k.a. Ethical Will)

This isn’t legally binding, but it’s spiritually unmissable. A legacy letter is a personal document where you can share your hopes, values, apologies, and memories. Think of it as a long-form love letter to the people who matter most.

Hot tip: You don’t have to write it all at once. Keep a running note on your phone or Google Doc with thoughts you want to share.

2. Add Personal Notes to Bequests

Leaving your nephew your favorite watch? Tell him why. (“This is the one I wore the day you were born.”) Passing along your vinyl collection? Share your top three records and what they meant to you.

These notes turn “things” into “stories.” That’s where the magic is.

3. Be Thoughtful With Symbolic Items

A scarf. A mug. A weird but charming figurine from your travels. These might seem small, but they often carry huge emotional weight.

Consider who might appreciate not just the thing, but the meaning behind the thing.

4. Include Wishes for Traditions to Continue

Want your family to keep doing Taco Tuesdays or watching Elf every Christmas Eve? Put it in writing. It might not be enforceable, but it plants a powerful seed.

And bonus: It gives your family permission to celebrate you, not just grieve you.

5. Work With a Lawyer Who Gets It

Not all estate planning attorneys are cut from the same (empathetic) cloth. Find someone who’s open to integrating legacy elements into the process, not just asset spreadsheets and court-pleasing jargon.

But What If My Family Thinks This Is Weird?

Oh, they will. And then they’ll cry. And laugh. And tell stories about you. And re-read what you wrote ten years later with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.

The truth? Everyone thinks this kind of stuff is “weird”, until they desperately wish they had it from someone they’ve lost.

You don’t have to write an epic memoir. Just write what’s real.

Wrapping It Up (Because You’re Not Done Living Yet)

Your will doesn’t have to read like the end of a Monopoly game. It can be a final act of love. A gift. A time capsule of who you are and what mattered to you.

It can say: “I saw you. I loved you. I still want to be part of your story.”

So yes, organize your assets. But also: write the letter. Share the why. Leave the heart, not just the house.

Your legacy deserves more than bullet points.